


Lucien Lachance Wipes His Ass

by Paste_My_Tomatoes_Dad



Category: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:37:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21540745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paste_My_Tomatoes_Dad/pseuds/Paste_My_Tomatoes_Dad
Summary: My entire account is a nightmare
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	Lucien Lachance Wipes His Ass

The respected--and feared--speaker of the Black Hand, Lucien Lachance, grimaced as he pushed the last bit of doodoo out of his homicidal bunghole. Fort Farragut had little in the way of a well-kept bathroom, and so Lachance was forced to squat outside whenever the need arose to empty his bowels; if only Arquen could see him now. Lucien scowled, oh he would never hear the end if it from her. Taking a generous portion of gritty, third era toilet paper from the crude wad in his hand, Lachance brought it behind him, and swiped the harsh, unforgiving material between his pale, murderous cheeks. However uncomfortable the experience was, Lachance was secretly glad that he had brought the necessary toiletries with him for this impromptu outdoor excursion. To his surprise, and delight, when he brought forth the folded paper to check for any smears, none were present. The toilet paper looked as fresh as it had before he'd tickled his chocolate starfish with it. Lucien smiled to himself--proud of his accomplishment--and spoke, his signature gravelly voice filled with mirth,

_"The ritual of Purification is complete."_

**Author's Note:**

> Do I deserve rights? Discuss


End file.
